Its-grim-up-north Posted November 1, 2019 Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 I’d just like to take the time to thank you lads, it’s a tiny little percentage of the internet this forum but just what I needed... I may not have the bottle to post to much on here but love reading the stuff you lads post... 👍 Golden Paws, salokcinnodrog, Phil and 10 others 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yonny Posted November 1, 2019 Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 It's a great forum. Its quiet recently but the members are great. Always good for a debate. commonly, finchey, elmoputney and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Its-grim-up-north Posted November 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) 17 minutes ago, yonny said: It's a great forum. Its quiet recently but the members are great. Always good for a debate. Your one of the best mate, the amount of knowledge you give away on here is great. Keeps this place going. We all know how secretive this carp game can be 😂👍 Edited November 1, 2019 by Its-grim-up-north gazmc, ..., kevtaylor and 5 others 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yonny Posted November 1, 2019 Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 If my posts help anyone then that makes my happy buddy😁👍 elmoputney, snowmanstevo, finchey and 6 others 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 1, 2019 Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Its-grim-up-north said: I’d just like to take the time to thank you lads, it’s a tiny little percentage of the internet this forum but just what I needed... I may not have the bottle to post to much on here but love reading the stuff you lads post... 👍 I feel for you mate. From my late teens til well into my 30's I suffered from severe anxiety. I still get it now but I'm in control of it much better now. It stopped me doing untold things in the past but with the help from counselling, amazing family and friends I've all but conquered it. On Wednesday my dad passed away after a long battle with cancer, years ago this would have had me going into complete meltdown and having all kinds of negative thoughts and dare I say doing some stupid things. But through the counselling its taught me so much about coping strategies etc .I was holding my dads hand as he passed, something that would have been impossible in the past. My mum said I've been her rock throughout my dads illness but especially in my dads last weeks, days. Hope you conquer whatever you're dealing with. Edited November 1, 2019 by emmcee finchey, yonny, kevtaylor and 6 others 6 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yonny Posted November 1, 2019 Report Share Posted November 1, 2019 10 minutes ago, emmcee said: On Wednesday my dad passed away after a long battle with cancer I feel for you mate. 6 days ago I lost my dad to cancer also. Puts things into perspective doesnt it. It's a hole that will never be filled. Head up. Keep going. snowmanstevo, finchey, Machali and 7 others 7 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elmoputney Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 Sorry to hear about your recent losses guys, nothing I can really say that will help but my thoughts are with you, it's nice to see you all opening up and being honest about things that effect you, I am also dealing with anxiety and depression quite often these days and sometimes it's a struggle and as you may have noticed it sometimes makes me overthink everything, when I look back its been with me for many years only I didn't really understand it and just felt like a bit of a freak,last few years I've really tackled it though but one thing I've come to the conclusion of lately these symptoms are more common than you think, talking openly about it has helped me no end, Keep posting its grim up north, some of your photos have been really Inspiring, and also just keep talking, it really helps take the pressure off, Tight lines all Elmo carpyian, yonny, commonly and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Its-grim-up-north Posted November 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, emmcee said: I feel for you mate. From my late teens til well into my 30's I suffered from severe anxiety. I still get it now but I'm in control of it much better now. It stopped me doing untold things in the past but with the help from counselling, amazing family and friends I've all but conquered it. On Wednesday my dad passed away after a long battle with cancer, years ago this would have had me going into complete meltdown and having all kinds of negative thoughts and dare I say doing some stupid things. But through the counselling its taught me so much about coping strategies etc .I was holding my dads hand as he passed, something that would have been impossible in the past. My mum said I've been her rock throughout my dads illness but especially in my dads last weeks, days. Hope you conquer whatever you're dealing with. I lost my mam last year mate, she was 55 and full of health. We found out she had a rare brain disease called vcjd. It was a big shock for me at 28 she was my rock even tho I’m married 😀. It was a big eye opener for me tho and I’d like to think I’m more of a man for it happening. I watched my sisters and my dad care for her and seen how strong they were. Basically made me realise we get one life and you don’t realise what’s around the corner. Big reason I got back into carp fishing, I think being alone and getting comfortable with your own thoughts helps a lot Edited November 2, 2019 by Its-grim-up-north commonly, elmoputney, Machali and 5 others 4 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzbomb Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 My condolences to yonny and emmcee, support to itsgrimupnorth. commonly, Machali, Its-grim-up-north and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Its-grim-up-north Posted November 2, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 (edited) I was originally affected in 2012, a good friend lost to an IED in Afghanistan. Thanks for the helping hand anyway. It’s a breath of fresh air this forum from the bullsh*t of the other social media sites. A big thing I’ve learnt to stay away from. Edited November 2, 2019 by Its-grim-up-north snowmanstevo, yonny and gazmc 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 7 hours ago, yonny said: I feel for you mate. 6 days ago I lost my dad to cancer also. Puts things into perspective doesnt it. It's a hole that will never be filled. Head up. Keep going. Sorry for your loss mate. And yes it sure does put things into perspective. True words spoken yonny. commonly and yonny 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 Fishing certainly helped me I'd say. Like you say learning to deal with things in your own time in your own way is a good thing. But there were many occasions I went fishing because I told mates I'd be there and it's the last place I wanted be due to my anxiety, which they didn't really understand (not many people do). So I've learned to do things for me, don't please other people because you feel you have to but because you want to. I found out who my true friends were in my dark days, they gave me all the space and time in the world if I wanted to be alone but also straight there if I wanted a chat. A few mates I didn't see for over 3yrs but when we did meet up they acted like it was only yesterday. yonny, crusian, gazmc and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
commonly Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 Really thought provoking, heart warming conversation. We as men are assumed to be insensitive to the effects of life. Quite often turning to drink or drugs as a coping mechanism. I for one would like to see a thread like this continue for any member to air there woes. It is good to talk & most on here are very considerate in their responses. Respect guys👏 emmcee, finchey, crusian and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 51 minutes ago, commonly said: Really thought provoking, heart warming conversation. We as men are assumed to be insensitive to the effects of life. Quite often turning to drink or drugs as a coping mechanism. I for one would like to see a thread like this continue for any member to air there woes. It is good to talk & most on here are very considerate in their responses. Respect guys👏 I lost my best mate when we were at the age of 16, in the following 6 yrs I lost 2 more mates, all 4 grand parents, 2 aunties and 2 uncles. And like you say us men are deemed insensitive and I did indeed hit drink and drugs hard. It was fishing that ultimately took me away from all that which is why I owe a lot to fishing and i hope and like trying to give something back, be that with advice on here, helping mates you meet on the bank etc. And totally agree, a permanent thread like this could be invaluable. Just knowing you're not the only one suffering, going through things that others have or are enduring can help massively. Its-grim-up-north, finchey, snowmanstevo and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowmanstevo Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 Yonny,Emmcee please except my condolences,never nice loosing a family member. I was 32 when cancer took my Dad I was lucky that I could spend his last few months with him. My life was a complete mess leading up to it so perversely losing my auld fella was also the start of a new life for me. My mum was housebound and totally reliant on my dad and I did some growing up real fast and made me a lot better person. My mother died 2015 and that was a blessing as she had been ill for a long long time. In 2016 my brother who had been troubled for a good few years due to a marriage breakdown hung himself,he was my older brother,my only family member as there was only me,dad,mum and Mike. I was so angry at him for doing what he did and was also racked with guilt as he’d been staying with us for the 6 wks prior to his suicide and I thought I’d helped him out of his hole but obviously not. We was close,my kids adohored him and seeing the upset of my children cut me in two. It’s safe to say it took me 18months to get over Mike the guilt will NEVER go away and without the help of my wife and the love of my children I don’t know where I’d be,it took me a long time to realise the courage it took Mike to end his life but time is a great healer and for the past few years I’ve been at peace with myself. 7 weeks ago I had a massive heart attack,I’m only 50 and have a 12 year old boy and 17 year old daughter and my heart attack really has put my life into perspective,again a life changing moment for me. I’m so glad that the forum is a help Grim up North but do me a favour,mate,if your ever struggling never do it in silence,mate,msg me anytime you want bud or talk to a friend or a councillor but NEVER suffer in silence. As most know I’m a massive Liverpool fan and as the song goes “ You’ll Never Walk Alone” x gazmc, yonny, crusian and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusian Posted November 2, 2019 Report Share Posted November 2, 2019 57 minutes ago, snowmanstevo said: Yonny,Emmcee please except my condolences,never nice loosing a family member. I was 32 when cancer took my Dad I was lucky that I could spend his last few months with him. My life was a complete mess leading up to it so perversely losing my auld fella was also the start of a new life for me. My mum was housebound and totally reliant on my dad and I did some growing up real fast and made me a lot better person. My mother died 2015 and that was a blessing as she had been ill for a long long time. In 2016 my brother who had been troubled for a good few years due to a marriage breakdown hung himself,he was my older brother,my only family member as there was only me,dad,mum and Mike. I was so angry at him for doing what he did and was also racked with guilt as he’d been staying with us for the 6 wks prior to his suicide and I thought I’d helped him out of his hole but obviously not. We was close,my kids adohored him and seeing the upset of my children cut me in two. It’s safe to say it took me 18months to get over Mike the guilt will NEVER go away and without the help of my wife and the love of my children I don’t know where I’d be,it took me a long time to realise the courage it took Mike to end his life but time is a great healer and for the past few years I’ve been at peace with myself. 7 weeks ago I had a massive heart attack,I’m only 50 and have a 12 year old boy and 17 year old daughter and my heart attack really has put my life into perspective,again a life changing moment for me. I’m so glad that the forum is a help Grim up North but do me a favour,mate,if your ever struggling never do it in silence,mate,msg me anytime you want bud or talk to a friend or a councillor but NEVER suffer in silence. As most know I’m a massive Liverpool fan and as the song goes “ You’ll Never Walk Alone” x That's a very sad read , Stevo , but at least Liverpool are turning it on for you this season ( even if you beat Spurs in the Champions League 😩) . My Niece committed suicide , and I know exactly what you mean about the guilt and the anger . 🙂 snowmanstevo, carpyian and yonny 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 8, 2019 Report Share Posted November 8, 2019 On 02/11/2019 at 18:50, snowmanstevo said: Yonny,Emmcee please except my condolences,never nice loosing a family member. I was 32 when cancer took my Dad I was lucky that I could spend his last few months with him. My life was a complete mess leading up to it so perversely losing my auld fella was also the start of a new life for me. My mum was housebound and totally reliant on my dad and I did some growing up real fast and made me a lot better person. My mother died 2015 and that was a blessing as she had been ill for a long long time. In 2016 my brother who had been troubled for a good few years due to a marriage breakdown hung himself,he was my older brother,my only family member as there was only me,dad,mum and Mike. I was so angry at him for doing what he did and was also racked with guilt as he’d been staying with us for the 6 wks prior to his suicide and I thought I’d helped him out of his hole but obviously not. We was close,my kids adohored him and seeing the upset of my children cut me in two. It’s safe to say it took me 18months to get over Mike the guilt will NEVER go away and without the help of my wife and the love of my children I don’t know where I’d be,it took me a long time to realise the courage it took Mike to end his life but time is a great healer and for the past few years I’ve been at peace with myself. 7 weeks ago I had a massive heart attack,I’m only 50 and have a 12 year old boy and 17 year old daughter and my heart attack really has put my life into perspective,again a life changing moment for me. I’m so glad that the forum is a help Grim up North but do me a favour,mate,if your ever struggling never do it in silence,mate,msg me anytime you want bud or talk to a friend or a councillor but NEVER suffer in silence. As most know I’m a massive Liverpool fan and as the song goes “ You’ll Never Walk Alone” x Just seen this steveo, really sorry to read this. You just don't realise how many people are going through personal battles. And very wise words, you are never alone, although you may feel like it's just you, it never is. Help is out there, you just got to reach for it. Stay safe mate. snowmanstevo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillfactor Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 15 hours ago, emmcee said: Just seen this steveo, really sorry to read this. You just don't realise how many people are going through personal battles. And very wise words, you are never alone, although you may feel like it's just you, it never is. Help is out there, you just got to reach for it. Stay safe mate. Spot on ..... I've had nothing but poo going on since coming back from France, hence not posting much . Thoughts & respect to all you guys . Keep on keeping on . bluelabel, Its-grim-up-north, yonny and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouchthathurt Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 01/11/2019 at 23:42, yonny said: I feel for you mate. 6 days ago I lost my dad to cancer also. Puts things into perspective doesnt it. It's a hole that will never be filled. Head up. Keep going. I'm sorry to hear of your losses gents, you have my condolences and best wishes. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2015 after 13yrs army service and working on the ambulances. I've been on this forum for many years and always like to keep an eye on it, as for posting replies, I get that, I worry about negative reactions to things I post, a hang up of the PTSD I suppose, but I have yet to really see any negative feedback. Yes you may get disagreements, or questions about any points I've raised, but nothing more than healthy debate, respectfully said. No one knows everything, my interpretation of a chosen subject may be totally different to another's interpretation, based on our respective viewpoints and experience, but stimulating debate is good for us all! welcome to the forum mate and get stuck in! emmcee, yonny, gazmc and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmcee Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 30 minutes ago, ouchthathurt said: I'm sorry to hear of your losses gents, you have my condolences and best wishes. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2015 after 13yrs army service and working on the ambulances. I've been on this forum for many years and always like to keep an eye on it, as for posting replies, I get that, I worry about negative reactions to things I post, a hang up of the PTSD I suppose, but I have yet to really see any negative feedback. Yes you may get disagreements, or questions about any points I've raised, but nothing more than healthy debate, respectfully said. No one knows everything, my interpretation of a chosen subject may be totally different to another's interpretation, based on our respective viewpoints and experience, but stimulating debate is good for us all! welcome to the forum mate and get stuck in! as an ex-serviceman does "help for hero's" not offer any councelling etc for you or any other service men/women? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machali Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 Sorry to know about your losses guys. Hope the best for you and your family 🙏 yonny 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmc Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 So sorry to hear of the losses some of you lads have had and the suffering some of the others have been through and are going through. It is really great you all feel ok to air your feelings and anxietys on here, it is not an easy thing to do it is really heart warming. Much respect to you all 👍 Gaz yonny, emmcee and snowmanstevo 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelabel Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 Lost my parents years ago... my Dad in 2011 & my Mum went a few years back on 31st Nov so we are coming up to the anniversary of her passing... its always a hard time, doesn't matter how tough you think you are, but the passing of a loved one is a hard thing to face up to.... especially Fathers.... as young lads we always think our Dads are tough, invincible, superheroes, who can shrug off anything and come back for more... it kinda stays with us, he fought cancer bravely and with dignity, until that fateful day.... When I lost my parents I was lucky, with a loving, supportive wife and family and a hobby I could immerse myself into, things were hard, but I got on with it and got through it relatively well... some don't fare so well... Yonny and Emmcee and Snowmanstevo, my deepest condolences... take care lads, if you need to talk just drop me a PM commonly, yonny, crusian and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowmanstevo Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 31 minutes ago, bluelabel said: Lost my parents years ago... my Dad in 2011 & my Mum went a few years back on 31st Nov so we are coming up to the anniversary of her passing... its always a hard time, doesn't matter how tough you think you are, but the passing of a loved one is a hard thing to face up to.... especially Fathers.... as young lads we always think our Dads are tough, invincible, superheroes, who can shrug off anything and come back for more... it kinda stays with us, he fought cancer bravely and with dignity, until that fateful day.... When I lost my parents I was lucky, with a loving, supportive wife and family and a hobby I could immerse myself into, things were hard, but I got on with it and got through it relatively well... some don't fare so well... Yonny and Emmcee and Snowmanstevo, my deepest condolences... take care lads, if you need to talk just drop me a PM Time and fishing is a great healer,mate. yonny, commonly, crusian and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouchthathurt Posted November 11, 2019 Report Share Posted November 11, 2019 On 09/11/2019 at 16:34, emmcee said: as an ex-serviceman does "help for hero's" not offer any councelling etc for you or any other service men/women? If anyone wants to get behind a military charity, can I suggest SSAFA? After the breakdown of my marriage due to PTSD, and having approached a GP for help and being told that I would have to go on a 6-12 month waiting list for initial assessment (a timeframe doubled by the GP then "forgetting" to do the referral - 6 months waiting for an appt that was not gonna arrive) I was found by my parents and brought back to Sussex. They asked H4H for help twice but I was never seen by them. In desperation, (as I was a total mess, been hospitalised twice with pancreatitis due to self medicating with Stella and vodka - been tee total since 2016 - and having had my father find me removing my tow rope form the boot of my car - ideal noose after all) they contacted SSAFA or the soldiers sailors air force association. They spoke to a SSAFA rep who interviewed me the following day, (he was ex parachute regt) he immediately realised I was a danger to myself and referred me to a clinical psychologist privately of which they paid the fees, the day after the referral was sent, (a sunday) the rep collected me from my parents house and drove me to see the psychologist at her own home. I was formally diagnosed with severe untreated PTSD and referred for immediate treatment. I started counselling on the Tuesday. It took a while, but I got there. I even returned to the ambulance service, something I couldn't have done prior to SSAFA's intervention. On the last day of my treatment, the counsellor told me that it was "the first day of the new life" I left, drove to Wales to collect my boys, returned to Sussex and took my boys to a local holiday park 15mins from my house (nothing too taxing - got an awesome carp lake!!) walked into the restaurant and got chatting to a very attractive blonde girl, (terrified she would tell me to get lost - but as a test of confidence it was pretty scary!) After 3yrs and 3 months together the same blonde and I will be getting married next year... There is light at the end of the tunnel. Seeing my son catch his first fish, teaching my other son how to ride a bike, my youngest son catching a PB 28lb+ mirror... A thousand little things that I could have missed had SSAFA not stepped in, along with family friends children and my partner, I thought I was pretty strong, being a blood splattered war fighting medic, but my reluctance to ask for help nearly cost me everything. The fight in getting better was tough, but screw it, don't let the bad uns win! I mean, miss this? No way! crusian, bluelabel, commonly and 8 others 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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